What Happened in Arizona...

What Happened… 

This blog post has been hard to write. I had a difficult time adjusting and digesting everything. Not to mention the past months have been a whirlwind… 

TLDR: I decided to alter my plans and return home after 317 miles on the Arizona Trail after a dangerous situation and the greatest fear I have ever experienced while adventuring. 

Upon arrival at home, I was thrust into dealing with the aftermath of my condo robbery + police report + insurance claim + replace items & locks + return to work + heartbreak + decision to resign from my teaching job + parents sold our childhood home (they’ve lived there for 40 years!) + dad got news he needed to have open heart surgery. 

The confluence of chaos all occurred in a matter of days. The tornado of life stuff swirled around me while I was in a constant state of tension from the double trauma (break-in + scared for my life in the mountains). The nightmares haven’t yet completely subsided and my triggers are still hotter than I would like, but I’m aware of the work I need to do to recalibrate and recover fully.

So… here’s what happened…

Day 13: Kearny to “Flat spots near wash before final climb to pass”

Gila River Day — 19.9 miles hiked

Mile 262.6 to 282.5 

I woke up super early to get picked up at 6:00 am from the trail angel’s house in Kearny. The rest of the hikers at Que’s house were planning to leave around 9:00 am. Gary, the local trail angel, gave me an early morning ride and even helped me look in Que’s shed for tent stakes (we were unsuccessful). I had left my stakes at a camp spot a few days ago and was worried about the possibility of wind or rain! My rainfly requires tent stakes. I texted Lee, trail angel in the Phoenix area, who was also helping me by bringing me my new pack in a few days, to see if he could pick up some tent stakes and electrolyte tabs. He offered to bring me snacks as well, so I requested cucumber with salt, grapes, Gatorade, and Fritos.

The morning was absolutely stunning. The wildflowers were exploding and the trail was windy and fun. The Gila River was on the left side in the valley for most of the morning and I headed down toward it. Once I reached the Gila River I would be walking alongside it at the lowest point on the entire trail. It started to get SO HOT. 

This was by far the hottest I had been the whole time. I took every opportunity possible (three times within 5-6 miles) to dunk my entire body in the cold Gila River to cool off. These water/cool-off breaks got me through some very slow miles. The trail was so easy and flat, but the heat and exhaustion was beating me down. I needed more electrolytes and salt so badly. I decided to plop down in a shade spot between water breaks and elevate my feet and eat some chips. I couldn’t consume enough salt.

The final bushwhack to the river was scrappy. While I was crawling through thick brush, another hiker (section hiker Sobo) joined me in the venture for water. It was nice to visit with another human as it was 3:00 pm and I hadn’t seen anyone else out there that day. We soaked our feet, cooled off in the shade, and filtered tons of water. 

After that point, the trail took a sharp 90 degree turn to the right and headed straight uphill, back into the mountains. I couldn’t wait to get to higher elevation! As soon as I began climbing, the air started to cool off. I found my rhythm again and no longer felt like I was poking along. 

I decided to camp at lower-ish/flat elevation  at the last possible stop before a lot of ridge-walking and wind tunnels. This meant an earlier end time, in the day light, but after the hot day, I felt depleted.

Day 14: 

“Flat spots near wash” to flat spot 2 miles north of Superior

New pack day! 19.6 miles hiked

Mile 262.6 to 302.1  

I got an early start as I had about 6 miles of climbing ahead of me. I knew it would be somewhat slow going. The rock and mountain formations this morning were so beautiful and stunning. The scenery kept changing and all my ailments (except my shoulder) began to equalize. My feet were okay. My legs happy. My heart steady and renewed. I knew I was behind schedule as I should have been averaging 25 miles/day, so I spent a lot of brain power trying to figure out how or when I could make up miles. Was it possible? I began making an alternate itinerary which would have me finish my hike at the south rim of the Grand Canyon (leaving me about 100 miles to come back some time and finish). My time constraint with a friend’s wedding and work made finishing the trail seem impossible at this point. I resigned to the fact that I was out here to enjoy the trail and perhaps it didn’t need to be a complete thru hike this year.

I marveled at how the Saguaro cactus dies. It seemed less like a tree or plant death, and more like an animal with a skeleton. These cacti (both young, old, and decaying) kept me company throughout my days. They held a special energy and I wondered in amazement at the wisdom and experiences woven into each cellular layer. What stories these cacti must hold.

Today was new pack day! Lee had texted he would be mountain biking in from the Superior trailhead to bring me my resupply and pack. My pack shoulder strap broke and was curled on my collar bone in such a way I might have fractured my collar bone if I continued like this. Putting all the weight on my hips was sometimes an option, but then my hip bones began to feel bruised and achy, so I needed to distribute the weight more evenly. 

I hiked nonstop to try to make as much headway as possible but eventually made it to a pass around noon and plopped down for my first break. I set out my sleeping pad and began my foot elevation and snacking routine. 

Minutes later, a mountain biker with a backpack appeared! It was Lee! I was ecstatic! He was exhausted as the whole way from the parking lot had been uphill for him. We sat and chatted and snacked for a while. Then I began to transfer everything to my new pack. I realized the side pockets were quite different (smaller holes), which meant it was trickier to get my water bottle in and out (like nearly impossible to do with my pack on). I also lost a bit of storage in the main compartment as this “newer” version had hip belt pockets. Initially, I thought this would be great! However, they weren’t large enough to fit my phone in comfortably, so they could really only be useful for chapstick and maybe a bar. I transferred my Gossamer Gear pouch for my phone, and considered having my water bladder and hose sent to me, as the inability to easily grab water would not be sustainable.

Luckily, everything fit, and I bid farewell to my old pack. It was kind of hard bc it had been like my home for the last two weeks (and previous hikes too). While it became dysfunctional, it had been a big source of security and carried my survival needs for so many miles.

I cruised down hill. I began to see more and more day hikers and weekend-ers as I approached the trailhead near the town of Superior (also on the same highway to Phoenix). Many hikers around me planned to get off trail and take a zero or two in Superior. I was on a time crunch and was feeling fresh with my new pack! I didn’t even consider getting off trail when I got to the parking lot. 

I refilled with water at a water cache took a little break off my feet, and pressed on in the evening, north of this junction about 2 miles. I had planned to go 5 miles, but I saw some nice flat tent spots and wanted to camp at warmer/lower elevation. Plus I was so fatigued I felt like I was going to fall asleep hiking.

I set up my tent and used my brand new stakes! Yay! I ate my dinner and with no cell coverage and heavy eyelids, I fell asleep on the early side. 

I woke up in terror at 2:00 am. The wind was blowing so hard and the clouds were spitting rain violently. I flipped my phone off of airplane mode and miraculously had one bar of LTE service. I called my dad (which I don’t think I’ve ever called my dad at 2:00 am). I was crying and my voice was trembling with fear. I asked if he could order me an Uber… (“ummm that’s not really a possibility…”). He talked me through how to get through the night. I asked him for a weather report. I couldn’t load anything on my phone. He told me there would be a big storm starting at 3:00 am. “WHAT?! So it’s going to get worse?! I don’t think my tent can take it!”

He talked to me about how I should get up when there was a break in the rain to secure my tent stakes with rocks. We talked through what to do if the stakes came up and my tent began to collapse. All I could do was get out and re-stake the tent again.

He assured me the rain would stop at 5:00 am, and there was a zero percent chance of rain the next day. Then, there was a break in the rain. I hung up the phone with my dad, mustered up the courage to go out into what felt like a tornado, and reinforced my stakes the best I could.

“Okay, just get through the next 3 hours...” I put all my extra things on top of my head and buried myself deep in my sleeping bag to attempt to muffle the sound of the storm. Things got much worse. I put on my headphones with white noise. Eventually, my vestibule came flying at me and my tent began to collapse on itself. I rushed out of my sleeping bag in the pouring rain and wind and went to put rocks on my stakes, again. This time, the sandy ground was so saturated the stakes weren’t actually being held down. I just hoped the rocks were big enough and could keep things secure for another hour.

Day 15: 

flat spot 2 miles north of Superior to Roger’s Trough TH

Superstition Mountains: 15.5 miles hiked

Mile 302.1 to 317.6

Sure enough, the storm let up 100% at 5:00 am, just like my dad had told me. Phew. What a relief. I got up slowly. I was tired from the sleepless and tense night. I was beyond appreciative I had tent stakes last night. They were a life saver.

Everything was wet and it was pretty cold this morning. As I left my tent spot and rejoined the trail I saw two female day hikers and felt relief I wasn’t alone. I asked them if they camped last night and they looked at me like I was crazy. They said their glass windows were shaking so badly they were scared in their house! No way!  I asked if they were hiking part of the AZT today, again no. They took a dirt road and I pressed on the single track trail solo. 

The first hour of my morning was pleasant. There were pockets of sunshine mixed with cloud coverage. It was tough to believe I wouldn’t be experiencing any rain today, per last night’s weather report… I stopped and put on my rain poncho over my puffy, which was over my long sleeve shirt. The temperature kept dropping as the skies became darker. To my left, there were pockets of blue sky and rainbows through breaks in the rain. To my right, the sky was dark and stormy. I just kept hoping the trail would veer left, and it kept winding right. 

The rain began lightly. I had enough time to get my pack cover out, change from pants to shorts (my pants were already getting soaking wet and my skin dries more quickly than my pants. Having wet pants would just make the situation colder).

I hiked for many miles like this. As I climbed in elevation, the rain continued, the temperature kept dropping, and I quickly lost the ability to use my hands. My gloves and hands were completely soaked and frozen. Accessing my water bottle or snacks was impossible. Checking my phone for waypoints would be for emergency use only as everything was so wet it was not really an option.

Eventually, I encountered a man hiking Sobo just as the rain let up. I was a bit scared at this point, but he told me he thought the conditions would be getting better and that I would probably be fine (and not need to turn back). He warned me about an unmarked trail junction from a jeep road at the top of the mountain I was climbing. I would need to use my phone to check for the intersection, otherwise, it meant 3 additional miles. He also told me there was a parking lot up there. Just as we parted ways, the rain picked up again.

I continued getting more and more wet and I didn’t have sufficient clothing for these conditions. I just hoped that the weather on the other side of the mountains would be 100% different and I would have the afternoon to dry out my belongings. Arizona rain storms don’t typically last for hours, much less days…

I climbed. The rain turned to snow. This was a bit of a relief, however, I was already soaking wet. The only thing dry at this point was my head. The wimpy plastic rain poncho, meant for single use, had so many holes in it I had to prioritize my head staying dry. I had tried to keep my chest area dry earlier, but the head hole grew too large and it was impossible. 

By the time I got to the top, I was so relieved, but this is when things got even worse. There was no cell service, there was no sign of blue skies anywhere, and the wind picked up. Also, not climbing meant my body wouldn’t be generating as much heat. I pressed on and told myself mantras like “no one ever died from wet feet” (probably not true lol). I would walk through streams and the frozen snow-water felt warm on my feet! I knew in my brain this was a bad sign, but a part of me wanted to just stand in the creeks because it was a little bit of “warmth.”

I started shivering. I tried to hike faster to prevent the shivers. “Movement is life.” This mantra stayed with me for hours. I had listened to an audio book “The Well-Lived Life” by Gladys McGarey (a 103 year old woman authored the book!) and one of her chapters is about how all life moves. Stagnation is death. I knew that as long as I kept moving, my body could stay warm enough to live. I was aware I hadn’t had a sip of water or a snack all day, and this would be problematic, but I kept holding out that the conditions would change and I just needed to move through it. The faster I hiked, the more I pushed, the warmer I would be and the sooner I would be on the other side of this scary storm.

I finally had to get my phone out to figure out the trail intersection. I was trying to follow the snow footprints of the man I had run into earlier in the day, but the snow accumulation was fast and the footprints disappeared. I needed navigation. It felt like a 20 minute ordeal just to get my right gloves off and then on again. The exposure to the wind made my had even more red and unusable.

I missed the trail turn. I started to realize it when the dirt road began to descend quickly. I did the whole ordeal all over again and kept my phone out this time to not miss the cutoff. I found the turn, but it was more like a stream. I walked through the freezing cold water for a few miles as I headed toward the parking lot. Just make it to the parking lot. Maybe there will be some type of shelter or cell phone service there. I didn’t really have a plan, I just knew I needed to get to that parking lot. I passed a few flat camping spots up there and considered setting up my tent, but I went through the entire scene in my head and realized this option was not helpful. My gear was already soaking wet from the night before, so I wasn’t convinced I would be able to get warm, or use my hands, or that things would improve the next day. Stopping to camp seemed like a more dangerous situation than moving.

I moved.

“Movement is life. Stay alive.”

I eventually decided to press one of my three pre-programmed Garmin SPOT messages to alert my family why I was stopping at the parking lot. The three options were: 1) “Good morning! All is well and I’m starting my day” 2) “Good night! All is well and I’m stopping for the day” and 3) “This is not a life threatening emergency but I need help” (4th option was to push SOS button for Search and Rescue in a life threatening emergency). I sent them the 3rd option so they would know things weren’t going well. I didn’t really think beyond that…

I was shivering and in a bad way when I finally reached the parking lot at Roger’s Trough in the Superstition Mountains.

Eventually, I approached the parking lot and I saw a bunch of tents. I started shouting “hello?! HELLO? Anyone out here?” No reply…

Then, I smelled gasoline! PEOPLE!

I saw some trucks in the parking lot with exhaust coming out and I went straight toward them pleading for help. I began to cry. I was so scared. I knew I needed to get out of the elements.

I was near hypothermic and two very kind young trail maintenance workers took me in. They were on a 3-week hitch, so they wouldn’t be leaving the mountains (or that parking lot), but they totally rescued me with dry clothes, food, water, hand warmers, and a dry warm truck to sit in while I recovered. I put the hand warmer in my bra and didn’t feel it. My chest and core body temperature was so frozen. Eventually, once I got to a shower, I realized I had burned my chest skin from the hand warmers. My toes didn’t regain feeling back for many many many hours. 

They told me the weather would be getting worse all afternoon and evening, with the rain and snow continuing and 35 MPH winds expected with gusts in the 40s and 50s. There were two other trucks in the parking lot from weekend hikers. We fully expected them to come back to their trucks because the weather was so terrible. This would mean I might be able to hitch a ride off the mountain with them. The trail workers had a Garmin InReach and I was able to message Lee, the trail angel, to ask him to pick me up at the bottom of the mountain (assuming I would get a ride somehow…. or walk… or maybe Lee could try to get up the mountain, but his vehicle didn’t have clearance for the dirt road).

Eventually, the weekenders came out of the woods! They took me in and I cuddled with their two pups. The dogs were shivering and their warm bodies helped me begin to feel warm and comforted. Eventually, We drove down a few hours and found Lee, who then offered to take me to his house where I could shower and take a zero day.

I finally got cell service and called my dad. He had received the “non-emergency but kind of emergency” message and didn’t know what to do, so he called SAR. SAR told him the weather was too bad to land a helicopter up there… umm… yikes! SAR called me and I told them I was safe and didn’t need to be rescued anymore, and I promised my dad I would get a Garmin InReach to be able to send real-time messages in an emergency situation.

After taking a warm shower, my body struggled to regulate temperature the rest of the evening and night. I didn’t get sensation back in my toes until the next day. I watched the mountains from Lee’s guest room the whole next day as they sat in dark rain clouds. I was so grateful to not be out there. I looked at the AZT FB groups and saw many hikers posting about having to get off trail due to so much rain/snow. 

I realized I needed to take two zero days and not rush back out there. I began calculating the cost of me pushing on. I would need to go to REI and buy a rain jacket, Garmin InReach, and perhaps some other first aid and gators. I kept checking the weather on the trail north, where I would be heading, and I realized the 12 inches of snow that just dumped on sections just north of where I was would not melt for another 7-10 days. If I had infinite time, I would have maybe waited a week and then pressed on. Madeline and Nick were about a week behind me, so maybe company would be nice!

But, I just didn’t have time on my side (theme of my life?), and I needed to get back to work. I also knew I needed to face my condo break in (which ended up consuming so much time). Finishing the trail was completely out of the question at this point anyway, and the weather would continue to be miserable. I wasn’t prepared with the correct gear to safely press on, and making the decision to call the hike hurt. 

I was finally past all my trail ailments and the hardest sections were in my rearview mirror. But, as I strolled around a Phoenix suburb like a zombie during my “double zero,” my gut kept telling me “go home.” I booked a flight for the next day and went home…. where I wasn’t really able to process some of this life-jolting stuff as I had a mountain of “life stuff” awaiting me.

Home:

Green! My eyes drank it up. The color seemed foreign and abundant. And soothing? Different. I wasn’t gone for that long, but it felt like I was in a completely new world all of a sudden.

The flight home had crazy turbulence. I cried — afraid for my life — a bit sensitive right now still.

When I landed, there was rain/storm/clouds and I began crying. The rain-trauma was real and illogical, but my body was scared.

My condo was turned upside down and I am still buying stuff the robbers stole (gloves, hats, pants, toiletries, electronics, travel and recreational gear etc). I still on occasion have a nightmare about getting robbed on my person while I’m walking around (which isn’t what happened, but the violating feeling transfers to that in my nightmares). 

But overall, enough time and distance has passed and I have been summer training and planning for the next adventures as I embark on this new life of working for myself.